A Boy and a Basketball Team

At Christmas time we all get Christmas letters where people talk about how “great” their year was and how their children are graduating at the top of their class and going to an Ivy League School. Seldom do we read about children who demonstrate character. Even more seldom do we read about the trials many families faced during a challenging year.

Recently, I witnessed a basketball team and a young boy modeling character. Cornerstone University, of Grand Rapids, Michigan, dedicated their 2010-2011 season to a young boy, Johnny Teis. Johnny was diagnosed with a life-altering, inoperable brain tumor. Johnny and his family were at the game to do the ceremonial opening tip. My daughter and I had the privilege of meeting Johnny. When I reached out to shake his hand, he reached out his hand with very little physical strength, but his heart had, and still has, the strength of a Lion.

Cornerstone University is ranked number 3 in the NAIA Division 2. As an alumnus, I take pride in watching their success on the court. However, what makes me more proud is their character off the court as well. I would love to see the Golden Eagles win another national title (their first was in 1999). I have actually contemplated attending the national tournament in Branson, Missouri this year. Yet, what I will remember about this season is their character.

During the ceremonial opening tip, Johnny’s family had pushed him in his wheelchair to the middle of the court with the Cornerstone basketball team following him. The crowd, all wearing green t-shirts that said “Johnny’s Army”, gave him a standing ovation, as did the whole Indiana Tech team, whom at that point had also made their way to mid-court to honor and cheer for Johnny. His brother tossed the ball up into the air as the audience applauded, not only Johnny, but also his family for their courage.

Cornerstone University and the Teis family modeled for us an important truth. Life is so much more than basketball, the final score of the game or who wins the championship. Life is about loving God and loving and serving others. It does not mean life is fair.

My wife, Becky, is a cancer survivor, which is why I have such a passion for stories like this. I know we are not supposed to question God when things like this happen. Yet, over two-thirds of the Psalms in the Bible are laments, people who are upset with the circumstances they are put in, asking God where He is. In the end, though, they remember who He is and praise Him. My heart aches for the Teis family and what they are going through. Yet I praise God for their testimony and character which has touched the lives of people like Dick Vitale, who called Johnny’s house and spoke of him during the Wisconsin/Ohio State basketball game last weekend, and Jim Tressel.

I thank God for Cornerstone University’s basketball team and their testimony. I really hope they win at nationals this year. Still, one day all the trophies will be old and in a dumpster. Yet the character of their team and a family who has shown courage during the most difficult of times is something that will last for eternity. Please pray for the Teis family. God Bless!

If anyone is interested in donating money to a fund going toward medical expenses for the Teis family, you may donate to the following:

Arvest Bank
506 First Ave. SE
Gravette AR 72736
c/o Johnny Teis Contribution Fund.

RAISING OUR CHILDREN WITHOUT YELLING AT THEM

A few years ago, the Indianapolis Colts played the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl. Tony Dungy, the coach of the eventual World Champion Indianapolis Colts, had been under the radar for doing something many said could not be done in professional sports. He was able to get his team to win the Super Bowl without ever yelling at his players. Every year he would begin training camp with his famous quote saying in a calm but assertive voice, “This is as much as you are going to hear me yell at you all season long.”

Some have argued that it could not possibly be true for Coach Dungy to lead his team to win the Super Bowl without yelling at his players. Others have said, his assistants must have done the yelling for him. For some reason, people equate yelling with discipline. Just because Tony Dungy did not yell at his players did not mean they lacked discipline.

Too often, as parents we sometimes assume we need to yell at our children to get them to lead disciplined lives. Is it possible to have well-disciplined children without yelling at them? In a sense, yes it is possible and I have found children to respond better to instruction when there is less yelling involved. On the other hand, I have yet to find a parent who has never yelled at their children at some point in their lives.

As a parent, it is my passion to see us all collectively learn effective ways to rear children with positive results along with low resistance from them. Some examples of how this can happen include allowing our children to learn through natural and logical consequences, less lecturing, relational building, time spent together, valuing their character, unconditional love, assertiveness and a variety of other ideas. It is always an honor to talk with parents and share from my own learning through research and personal experience. Together, we can learn and become better parents.