A few years ago, the Indianapolis Colts played the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl. Tony Dungy, the coach of the eventual World Champion Indianapolis Colts, had been under the radar for doing something many said could not be done in professional sports. He was able to get his team to win the Super Bowl without ever yelling at his players. Every year he would begin training camp with his famous quote saying in a calm but assertive voice, “This is as much as you are going to hear me yell at you all season long.”
Some have argued that it could not possibly be true for Coach Dungy to lead his team to win the Super Bowl without yelling at his players. Others have said, his assistants must have done the yelling for him. For some reason, people equate yelling with discipline. Just because Tony Dungy did not yell at his players did not mean they lacked discipline.
Too often, as parents we sometimes assume we need to yell at our children to get them to lead disciplined lives. Is it possible to have well-disciplined children without yelling at them? In a sense, yes it is possible and I have found children to respond better to instruction when there is less yelling involved. On the other hand, I have yet to find a parent who has never yelled at their children at some point in their lives.
As a parent, it is my passion to see us all collectively learn effective ways to rear children with positive results along with low resistance from them. Some examples of how this can happen include allowing our children to learn through natural and logical consequences, less lecturing, relational building, time spent together, valuing their character, unconditional love, assertiveness and a variety of other ideas. It is always an honor to talk with parents and share from my own learning through research and personal experience. Together, we can learn and become better parents.
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