A CHRISTMAS LIKE NO OTHER

I am one of those people who do not mind listening to Christmas music early. As soon as Halloween is past, I have the radio in my car set to the stations that play non-stop Christmas music until the day after Christmas. It is a holiday that has been very meaningful and sacred to our family. This Christmas has become one I will never forget. Early in November, while driving in my car and listening to some of our traditional carols, I turned down the music and began praying. I asked God to make this Christmas a special one, one like no other Christmas we have ever had. I did not want it to be just another holiday season of family traditions. I wanted it to be more. I wanted it to be life-changing for all of us. Well, I do not know how many times I have heard people say, “Be careful what you ask God for. He may give it to you. Fast forward to Tuesday, December 18th. I happen to be at home. I was doing some needed chores around the house that morning. I saw my phone ring. I did not recognize the number, so I did not answer. A couple minutes later my phone was ringing, I saw it was Becky. Upon answering, I heard screaming on the phone, “Jon, the school called. Jacob had a seizure. The paramedics are at the school. They are going to take him to a hospital but I do not know which one.” I left for the school expecting to find Jacob worn out, groaning and crying. When I arrived at the school, I found the ambulance by the gym and pool entrance. I thought that was odd. Jacob has autism and spends most of his day in the ASD classroom. I was then directed to the pool area. There were many thoughts that went through my head, including whether or not Jacob’s seizure happened in the water. When I saw Jacob, instead of seeing him worn out and groaning, he was unresponsive. He had a tube in his mouth. I tried talking to him. “Hey Bubba! Daddy’s here!” I found Becky crying. When the paramedics took him into the ambulance, I told Becky she could ride in the ambulance and I would follow behind. While in the car, I was trying to call all the people I could to inform them of what was happening. It was when we were going down Square Lake Rd that Becky called me from the ambulance. She told me the driver said I still needed to follow the traffic laws and I could get pulled over or hurt in an accident. At the time, being slightly irrational, I was thinking to myself, “What traffic laws? Who cares? I want to be with my son.” However, I did comply. The last thing we needed was to have another crisis on our hands. Upon arriving at the hospital, Jacob had been moved into the trauma unit. It is much different than on television, especially when you hear one of the docs say, “This does not look good.” After what seemed like eternity, they finished a few X-Rays and moved him into a room for a few more tests. I was standing in the Hallway of the Emergency Unit, trying to be strong for Becky and help her while at the same time feeling helpless and weak. I thought of the words to a song from a long time ago, “The Warrior is a Child”. That is how I felt. How could I “be strong” for Becky when I was trying to make sense of it myself. I was wondering if I would ever speak to my son again. I was longing to hear one of his funny sayings, such as “Jacob did spit his chicken out in South Dakota, mommy was mad”. I wondered if I would ever feel the “not so gentle” hit on my back every morning. If he did survive, how much functioning would he have? Will he be able to speak at all? After all, if he had water in his lungs, that could change his ability to function. I began to think of how our life would change if Jacob didn’t make it. We began to fear the worse. I was praying, “God, don’t take him!” We have so many happy memories. Jacob is well-liked by all. At church he walks around and greets all his favorite people. Many of his peers, at church and at school, love him. At Clarkston High School, they have a link program where they match up a peer with each of the students with autism. I remember once suggesting to one of his peers whom I knew really well, that he be Jacob’s link because of his heart for people. He said he would, except that “everybody wants to be Jacob’s link”. You see, life would not only be different for us. It would also be different for the many people who have the privilege of knowing him and being his friend. Jacob has a sense of humor that can rival just about anyone. He can imitate others like that of famous imitator, Rich Little. This is especially true in the autism classroom, where people can witness many different sayings and sounds of those who are blessed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Yes, I did say that. This is not an error. I am a parent who initially had to work through the acceptance of having children with autism. I have often said, if someone finds a “cure” for autism, I would not want our children to have it. I believe God made them who they are and in His eyes they are how He made them to be. I am offended by all the “cure autism” bumper stickers. What do they need to be “cured” of? Is it possible that those of us who are “neuro-typical” need to adjust or thinking? Then again, who of us is “neuro-typical”? While the doctors were doing the tests on Jacob, I told Becky I was going to step out for a bit. I wanted to send a message on Facebook, asking our friends to pray. We are a family that believes in prayer. We believe God is present and hears our requests. As I stepped out, Becky began praying out loud, “Jesus, please don’t take him!” During that time, a person in the hallway approached Becky and said, “God is going to take care of Jacob. He is going to be okay!” Becky had never seen this woman before, nor did she see her again. Could it have been an angel telling her Jacob was going to be fine? Following my return, one of the medical professionals told us Jacob was going to be moved to PICU. We could meet him there. We were told the tests look negative and as far as they can see, there was no water in the lungs from the pool. The brain looked good, but he was going to need more tests. They also said Jacob would have a breathing tube for at least 24 hours. He would likely be at the hospital through the rest of the week and possibly on Christmas. Upon checking my Facebook account, we had received a plethora of messages from friends and family saying they were praying for us. Even a pastor friend of mine from the West side of Michigan, with whom I had been on many Bike Trips, mentioned they prayed for Jacob during their board meeting. Can we “feel” the prayers of people? It may not go along with some of the more fundamental doctrines and/or theologies. However, I do not know how else to explain the “peace that passes understanding” we felt. Not too long after Jacob’s arrival in the ICU, he woke up, complaining as best as he could without being able to speak, about the tube in his mouth. We looked at the nurse. She said, it’s not like he is not able to breathe on his own.” They took the tube out of his mouth. About an hour later, he was trying to move his restrained arms to take out his IV and a horribly uncomfortable neck brace. He was talking and saying, “Time to go home! Somebody else’s turn to stay at the hospital.” We were thrilled out of our minds to hear him talk, even if he had “an attitude”. By this time, I was telling the nurses, “He will sleep and feel better if you take that brace off his neck.” With his autism, Jacob cannot always communicate for himself. They took his IV out and removed his neck brace. Jacob rolled over and with a sigh of relief, went back to sleep. About an hour later he woke up and looked at me. I said, “How are you doing Bubba?” He responded by saying, “Good!” I said, “Becky, he responded to my question!” One of the big highlights for me was at about 4am, laying on the hospital room futon (Becky and I were alternating between the futon and the chair). I woke up to Jacob’s face being only a foot above mine while saying “Lay down with daddy!” He was up and walking around. By 6am Jacob was yelling at the nurses and doctors, “Time to go home! Hey Lady?” Two day’s prior, we would have been upset with Jacob for his obnoxious behavior. On that morning, we were thrilled. I will never forget that morning in early November while driving my car on the way to work, praying that this would be the most special Christmas ever. I remember praying that the birth of Christ would be ever more real to us than any other season in the past. Through this, we have learned so much about God’s love for us and his goodness. We are thankful for the many people who were praying for a recovery to be quick and complete. We did not expect Jacob to be home so soon. In speaking with so many people, we heard the phrase, “You got an early Christmas present!” I began to think about all the things people believe are so important. It was like on the movie “Titanic”, while the great ship was sinking, money was flying everywhere, but nobody cared. They were running for their lives. As I reflected, I began to think of how unimportant so many things in life are. While Jacob was lying on bed in the trauma unit, I did not care about any sports team, what I was getting for Christmas, what bills we had to pay, when my student loans would be paid off or how many clients I needed to see this week at my private practice. It all seemed insignificant. I just wanted to be with Jacob, talking with him, laughing with him and going places with him. On Thursday afternoon, Becky and my daughter Hannah went to meet with the Lifeguards who were present and performed the chest compressions on Jacob. Becky heard one say she could not find a pulse at one point with Jacob. All of them had tears in their eyes and were so happy and shocked to hear how well Jacob was doing. We thank God for their timing and effective response. Yes, this will be a Christmas we will never forget. Over 2,000 years ago, God brought hope into the world by sending his son to be a sacrificial gift for us. He sent him into our violent neighborhood, knowing he would experience pain, hurt, rejection, death and resurrection. I have said before, I would not give Jacob up for the world, even if the world deserved it. Yet, God sent Jesus Christ into our world, for us, even though we do not deserve it. It is in times like this that we can get more of a glimpse of God’s love and goodness. Looking back at that early November drive to work, I probably would not have asked God to make this Christmas “so special”, if I had known all that we were going to go through with Jacob. However, I do not regret it. I am thankful for what we have learned through this. May God bless all of you and have a Merry Christmas!